Hoàng-Ân
GRATEFULNESS IS A STATE OF GRACE
VerdantSpring, 1:25 PM, cst-usa, Friday, April 11st, 2008
In Western history, there are the alchemists, named after their school of science. Alchemy is the attempt to change lead into gold, and thereof find the elixir to attain immortality for humans. Though this seem far off and of more magic than science, spiritual alchemy makes great sense: in the turning the soul's pain into wisdom and therefore attain perfect peace and happiness. During two weeks ago, I was overwhelmed with boredom. The tenacious seed of discontent pervaded the season of my soul. I went through a few days after that trying to not think and feel in order to demolish the suffering of my soul; I thought that would be the solution to the alleviation of pain and therefore the attainment of peace. And then, this morning I woke up with a restlessness that I could not avoid...I went outside to soak myself in the miracles of nature in Spring...The aliveness of life was rich and full of promises...And suddenly I know that life is a process of the old dying to greet in the new: change is unavoidable and inevitable...
As I sipped the coffee with cream, the bitterness of the liquid made me realize that the stuffs of life the soul brings to us human beings are also full of the myriad aspects of tastes: bitter, sour, pungent, scorching hot, ect. The thoughts, emotions, and desires that make up a living being must be admitted and braved...simply because they make life meaningful and worth living...Ve all avoid pains and seek after happiness...like Christianity's heaven and Buddhism's nirvana...but before we can cautiously channelling the energies of our mental and psychological lives, we must embrace also the dark force habingered within our souls. Contentment is achieved even with the effort to bring the invisible urges deep inside us into some kind of form, like a painting or a song or a poem..."Still water runs deep" and once dive low enough in the unconscious world, we can reach up above the face of that lake and greet in the marvelous world of light and sounds and colors...To truly be alive we must live true to all aspects of living and loving, including suffering...
The healing to wholeness of our being includes transporting from the first stage of growth, denial, to self-knowledge. The survival instinct means more than just avoiding pains and seek after happiness; it is also to be true to all of our selves: all the uncomfortable states such as doubt and disappointment. This is easier said than done...And yet, "beckoning or not, the gods shall come." And suffering is like a kind of the dying of the childish wish to have what we desire after and to have it immediately "RIGHT NOW!!!" and have it our way...
I think to be able to feel grateful is a state of grace...Thank You for being out there as the inspiration for me to share my inner struggle with You: knowing that my shout across the distance will touch your world and echo back deep: makes it easier to be human...The world would be too cold without my knowing that you are there: thinking, feeling and yearning...like me..!!
